Geyser 锁记

一生经过彷徨的挣扎
自信可改变未来
问谁又能做到

占中运动过去已经一个多月了，那时Facebook和微信都被各种照片各方言论刷屏，看到那些乖巧的学生安静的游行，也看到各怀鬼胎的投机客丑态毕露，心里说不出五味杂陈，又是感动，又是伤心，又是期待，又是失望。我想如果我和Max都在香港，一定会和学生们坐在一起，不管是什么样的人在背后有什么样的内幕在操演，我们的心依旧是同学生们一样： (more…)

昨夜临睡前。

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小巷

顾城

小巷

又弯又长

没有门

没有窗

我拿把旧钥匙

敲着厚厚的墙

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我找了一圈也没有合适的图片来配。

诗歌的魅力就在于此。

I almost experience morning expression every day after moving to London. I know clearly about the reason. It is because I am not working currently and have to stay at home. Every time when I get up late in the morning after my husband goes to work, I feel depressive, – another long day that I have to spend by my own (of course sometimes I enjoy it very much but I really need to social).

Lately it becomes better. The reason I am writing this blog is to note down all the effective methods I am now using to prevent that from happening or to reduce its consequences. They come as a list like below (I’ll update every time I find a new one):

• Go for a walk. The exercise makes you feel warm and happy.
• Go out to talk to people. I am looking for a job in this new city I am living in so I paid someone to teach me writing a proper CV and to practise interview. It is really nice to know that everyday I am going to talk to someone to improve my skills.
• Think of a dream and a realistic way to reach it. I always wanted to build my own house but it requires a lot of skills and I am no architect. A more general dream deprived from that is that I want to build and create something 3D. That’s why I am taking online course of product design, which requires me to make something on my own. I am also learning to build a website with HTML and CSS language, which is not 3D but still makes me feel good. Now that I realise everything I do is meaningful to my dream, the depression would go away.
• Think of money. It is evil, but it works. I am working very hard now to find a good job with nice pay. It makes me feel good when I know what I can earn by contributing my competencies and skills, and this is something I will need to work for day after day.

I tried to search “morning depression” online and was surprised to find some many articles about it, but most of them are talking about taking pills and having therapies. I don’t believe in either of them. Morning depression should not be treated as a disease. It will be a disease if you do so. In my opinion it is just a very normal human reaction with a cause rooted in one’s mind that he or she can find on his or her own. You must be not satisfied with your life that you’ll have it. Tell me if I am wrong.